


Antiques Roadshow

by Spiffing



Category: Political RPF - UK 20th-21st c.
Genre: Confusion, Crush, Flirting, Kissing, M/M, Male Friendship, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-11
Updated: 2012-04-11
Packaged: 2017-11-03 10:58:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/380648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spiffing/pseuds/Spiffing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After that joint interview with Andrew Marr, in a empty narrow corridor on their way out of the studio, Ed Balls discovers a secret about the man he shadows in politics. An unusual moment formed from misunderstandings that, really, strengthened an unlikely friendly relationship. He doesn't love the Chancellor. Of course not!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Antiques Roadshow

“Antiques Roadshow? Really?”

Ed Balls, not surprised that George Osborne would willingly speak to him outside of what some politicians called ‘required conversation’ with political opposites, simply smirked. To the two of them, outside of politics, they could almost forget that they should be hating each other and be polar opposites rather than sensible, civil, and even friendly.

“Yes, _really_. Though with you... Didn’t know you were human, unable to watch certain parts of that Danish show without tearing,” Ed remarked, smiling a little so Osborne knew he was joking. “Or is it the fact that you don’t understand a word they’re saying?”  
“I’ve picked up a few phrases so I understand some.”  
Ed snorted.  
“ _Lies_. You just read the subtitles, I bet.”  
“Yes, well, that too,” Osborne said, looking abashed.  
“Well?” Ed prompted.  
“Well what?”  
“Give me the full synopsis and the summary of the show. From start to finish. I know you’ve seen the whole series already with that smug look on your face.”  
Osborne smirked.  
“I don’t think that’s wise. I’d end up spoiling it for you. You’ll just have to watch it yourself.”  
“Don’t own the box set.”  
“I do. But you know that already.”  
“Smug git,” Ed muttered good-naturedly, making Osborne to chuckle. “Aren’t you going to invite me over to make sure I do?”

Osborne looked taken back but managed to hold it back, but not enough for Ed to not notice.  
“To make sure you, you watch it? I thought you couldn’t stand me,” Osborne stated smoothly, almost challengingly.  
“You? No. Maybe some- I still don’t quite know _you_ yet. Your Plan A of austerity measures? Yes. But you ‘already knew that’,” Ed admitted, smirking.  
“That’s nice to know,” Osborne said, smiling back, and then he added kiddingly, “Though I can’t say the same for you.”  
“Oh. I see how it is,” Ed commented, snorting.

A comfortable silence passed between them as they continued together their way down the corridor.

“Do you really think I’m a good politician,” Osborne said, quiet, almost uncertain.  
Glancing at Osborne out of the corner of his eye he could see that the younger man did indeed look a bit insecure. The man saw him looking and quickly rearranged his face into a smirk.  
Speaking nonchalantly, mockingly, Osborne continued, “Or did you say that to show off how much of a _gentleman_ you really are?”

Ed snorted again and rolled his eyes. Of course Osborne would think that. Public school boys seemed to all have insecurities of some sort even when some of them act all tough and down to earth. It was no wonder why compliments thrown out without subtlety and almost out of nowhere seemed light-hearted, suspicious, or not genuine at all.

“No, I said it for show,” Ed replied sarcastically. “What else do you think, George?”  
A pause went and then Osborne said smugly, “Well, I suppose I must congratulate Yvette for managing to hold you on a tight leash. You must have been a hand full in dealing with.”

At hearing the words coming from Osborne’s mouth, Ed couldn’t believe he had just moments ago held the slightest sympathy for people like Osborne.  
“Oh yeah. You’d know all about wearing leashes, wouldn’t you?” Ed retorted airily.  
Osborne’s eyes widened before he gave him the one over with his eyes in a sly manner under his eyelashes. The sight always made Osborne look oddly alluring, a look that seemed Osborne didn’t quite seem to notice himself doing to people almost all the time.  
“Touché,” Osborne responded with a quirking from the corner of his lips.

Ed found he needed to look away, straightforward at their path ahead of them out of the studio.  
“So it’s true,” Ed asked after a moment, unable to help but begin having some of his curiosity about his opposite explored.  
“What is true?” Osborne asked, raising an eyebrow.  
Ed glanced at Osborne sideways.  
“What the rumours are telling.”  
Osborne’s eyes narrowed quickly at that.  
“What _rumours_?” Osborne sneered, cautious.

Ed smirked. It wasn’t everyday one gets to play with Osborne and get under his skin in private like this. But he knew Osborne would take it well, at least he thought so. It was their usual sparing banter style after all. He knew he could hold his own and Osborne the same. One doesn’t live through a life in politics without braving criticisms too.  
“You know... the ones about you,” Ed said, deciding to drag it a little bit.

A slight irritation took Osborne’s smooth pale face.  
“You’re going to have to tell me what rumours you’re referring to otherwise I’m afraid I cannot see how I’m supposed to answer you.”  
“That you’ve... slept with blokes,” Ed said, picking a random fake claim out of thin air.

Osborne’s face reddened slightly as he looked alarmed. That was not a reaction Ed was expecting.  
Osborne seemed to have forgotten his strategic mask for he then abruptly asked, “W-who told you that?”

Having caught Osborne in something Ed hadn’t expected to be true; Ed felt a small rise of victory in knowing something he hadn’t known about this young Chancellor before.  
“Ha. So it is true,” Ed voiced, still somewhat surprised that Osborne went both ways.  
Osborne closed his eyes briefly and looked like he was internally berating himself.  
“I’ve never said that,” Osborne muttered.  
“Your reaction is telling,” Ed said, not believing Osborne one bit.  
“I don’t _sleep_ with men,” Osborne insisted, sounding borderline desperate which was concerning.

Ed wondered if Osborne was closeted. Ed wouldn’t be surprised nor did he blame him. Osborne’s career, his job was on the line and his relationship with his family too. Osborne was... what, the heir of the Osborne family? Could an heir apparent in their forties still get disowned?

Osborne looked at Ed, his eyebrows furrowed.  
“Whoever told you that I have is spinning you a-a _terrible_ lie.”  
“Who was it with then?” Ed continued to press. “Cameron?”  
Osborne spurted. He looked almost ill at the thought of bedding his friend... or his friend bedding him.  
“What? No. Of course not. I-I admit, he’s a h-handsome fellow, but his my _friend_!”  
“So you’ve tried, eh? Do you think I’m a ‘handsome fellow’?” Ed said, in a light gloating manner, making Osborne flush a darker pink. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to answer that. I know I am. How about Mandelson? Before or after Corfu?”

Clearly uncomfortable with the turn of conversation, Osborne stopped walking- Ed stopped too- turned to Ed, and glared straight into Ed’s eyes. Ed, who could stare at people for a long time without blinking, met Osborne’s serious gaze calmly.  
“Look, whatever you’re trying to do, stop it,” Osborne hissed, clearly ruffled. “I don’t know who put you up to it but I don’t like it. I’m happily married, with two children, have been completely faithful and loyal to my family and I plan to keep it that way. Now, I know you want my job and you probably hate my guts under all that... niceness---.”  
“I don’t hate you,” Ed intercepted, frowning.  
“W-well, I- Neither do I,” Osborne said, sounding taken aback but maintaining his serious face. He returned to what he was saying, “But please, Ed, don’t do this to me. Perhaps after I’ve had my round, but not now. Let me do my job with one less thing to worry about.”

Ed held back. He decided he took the teasing a bit too far if Osborne was taking this seriously.  
“Do you really think that low of me?” Ed asked, annoyed that Osborne would think that, but also genuinely curious to his answer too.  
“No,” Osborne said immediately. He frowned. “Yes.” He shook his head. “No, I mean no. I just... I need your assurance on this.”  
Ed raised an eyebrow, looking at Osborne smugly.  
“That much is obvious,” Ed remarked.

Osborne stared, those eyes were wide once again, lost, calculating and his lips slightly parted. He looked speechless really, disbelieving- something that doesn’t happen often these days; or at least in the public eye. Osborne glanced down either side of the corridor, licking his lips nervously. But that all that nervousness, and disbelief disappeared swiftly, his face blanking and just shy of determination. What happened next caused Ed to flounder and not know what to do, completely taken by surprise- which was something that _rarely_ happened to Ed Balls. There were lips pressing insistently on his and a warm body aligned enticingly against his too.

For a moment, Ed didn’t think whose lips and whose body was doing these _things_ to his insides, and automatically his eyes closed and he was kissing back, his hands running through the person’s soft yet slightly coarse hair. But then, a second more, a soft whimper escaped the other’s lips, from lips that were definitely not Yvette’s, and a sound that she obviously doesn’t make sounding like that, and the body was obviously of a man’s.

Ed shoved Osborne back, pinning the slightly taller but slightly thinner man to the wall opposite in the narrow corridor. Ed was confused, angry, and horrifyingly, he found he was aroused _because_ of Osborne. 

“What the fuck was that?” Ed all but snapped, demanding an answer, but it came out as a heavy breath, though his eyes sent the full summary of his reaction through.

Osborne reeled back, the back of his head bouncing off the wall again. He was bewildered and confused by Ed’s reaction, as though he thought Ed wanted Osborne to... Ed wasn’t sure what Osborne thought but Osborne seemed almost frightened at the moment so Ed moved back a bit from Osborne. But Ed was still angry, still confused, and still frustratingly hard. The last part, he didn’t know why which was why he was frustrated and was partly the reason why he was confused. Aroused because of _Osborne_ of all people. The thought was weird and unprecedented itself.

“I-I thought... You, asking all those questions... T-that you knew I...”  
Ed shook his head slowly, frowning.  
“... and you wanted me to... s-so in exchange you wouldn’t...”  
Ed shook his head again, still frowning. Osborne faltered further and then fell silent.

Grimacing again, realising he made a miscalculation, Osborne shut his eyes once more, and he let out a sigh.  
Softly, embarrassed, Osborne uttered, “M-my, my mistake.”

Ed didn’t say anything, staring at Osborne and feeling strangely transfixed with those hazel eyes which stared back at him when he reopened his eyes, and that pale milky white skin. Ed slowly lifted a hand, and was curious and somewhat worried to see Osborne flinch- who then grimaced once again at his own reaction- before Ed lightly touched Osborne’s cheek. Slight stubble but otherwise smooth skin; almost flawless. Probably uses moisturising cream, Ed thought, inwardly snorting. Up close, Ed could even see freckles on Osborne’s face. Who would have thought? Osborne didn’t move and merely frowned when both of Ed’s hands came to lightly rest on Osborne’s hips.

Ed wasn’t sure what possessed him, while in the back of his mind he knew this shouldn’t be happening, but he leaned forward anyway and gently captured those nice looking lips. This time, he was conscious enough to experience that Osborne’s were thin but soft, little bit rougher than Yvette’s but still softer than he would have expected from a man. Ed hands trailed up and down Osborne’s sides under his jacket, caressing him absentmindedly. Licking at Osborne’s bottom lip, Ed could taste traces of chocolate and coffee. That was... nice.

Surprisingly, given the mixed signals and confusion before, Osborne sighed and leaned against him, responding back. Ed opened his eyes a little, to see Osborne’s eyes fluttering closed; those eyelashes contrasting nicely against his skin. Ed closed his eyes too.

Osborne’s actions seemed hesitant, almost meek, with the way his hands finally rested on Ed’s shoulders and the way Osborne’s lips moved slowly against his own before they willingly parted, letting Ed in. Their tongues touched and slid together, they both moaned simultaneously. Osborne abruptly grabbed hold of his lapels and pulled him closer, pressing their bodies together once more, and Ed had a better taste of Osborne, the chocolate and coffee was much stronger. Strangely, Osborne also tasted sweet. That was nice too but that was all it was: nice. Nice was good but it wasn’t much to mean anything special. It was different, sure. Osborne tasted different. He felt different. He smelt different. He sounded different. This moment was nice and different. All a nice type of different. But still, in the end, he was simply nice.

When Ed’s hands moved to tug at Osborne’s shirt, his mind clouded with blinded feelings and wanting to explore further, the younger man flinched again, his hands flying up to Ed’s chest, pushing him away. Ed immediately withdrew his hands as if he was burnt. He was acutely aware of Osborne’s reservations and Ed was concerned that he triggered something unpleasant in Osborne or did something wrong.

“What is it?” Ed quickly asked low and quiet and out of breath.  
Osborne winced, and shuffled back, heaving in deep breaths back in his lungs as well as attempting to calm himself. His eyes darted away from Ed’s, unable to meet his eyes.  
“I-I’m sorry. We can’t do this,” Osborne said apologetically, his voice sounding a bit rough too after being thoroughly kissed. He was nervous- that was something that was rarely seen in the cock-sure Conservative Chancellor. “W-we’re both married- respectively- and I-I know I should... always finish what I start, b-b-but---.”

Seeing the growing panic forming and fear reforming in those eyes, Ed quickly stepped back a few steps more, and common sense returned to him. They were in a corridor, in public where anyone could walk through any second. Besides, with the arousal dissipating, it was obvious Ed didn’t have any actual... _loving_ sort of feelings for the Chancellor and it was just lust messing with him; though he did admire the man for his intellect and sarcastic wit, he wasn’t into the man in _that way_. At least he thought he didn’t. Ed shouldn’t have acted upon those temporary feelings of lust though. At all. He was going to have to tell Yvette and Osborne to Frances.

Then Ed thought for a moment about what just happened. _Really_ thought about it. Of what was revealed, of what led to their last and most definitely last kiss, to why it happened. Osborne’s reaction when he pushed Ed away... the way he launched at Ed, it was as though he thought Ed wanted him to... _do things_ in return for silence about knowing the same _things_ had happened. The way Osborne kept flinching... his face blanking just before he kissed Ed... What kind of vile people would use Osborne- who is really still a kid in politics even though he’s at the top of cabinet- in such a sickening why? The thought made Ed feel sick. It was wrong and he just went and... But Ed didn’t want to use Osborne. He didn’t think of Osborne in such a way. But blimey... No wonder shows such as The Killings to Osborne were almost unbearable to watch. Ed regretted stepping into this unknown territory but at the same time he was glad he did. To know that this sort of thing was going on... To know that Osborne was being used like this... He almost felt like he should look out for the man, oddly enough.

“Not with this. If you’re uncomfortable, if you don’t want it, this stops here. So don’t, don’t worry about it,” Ed said awkwardly, scratching the side of his head. “Sorry about... kissing you. Twice. I don’t... er, regret the last one. It was... nice. But I don’t use people like that and erm, I don’t actually...”  
Ed indicted the two of them with his hand and he rubbed the left side of his own chest. Ed wasn’t sure what to call it. Fancy Osborne? Into Osborne? But Osborne nodded quickly, knowing what he meant.  
“And you’re right,” Ed continued. “We can’t do this, being married men with jobs as public as ours. It shouldn’t happen again.”

Osborne nodded. But he eyed Ed warily, as though he was afraid Ed was judging him, and added after Ed, “I’m sorry too. I thought it was... nice... as well. But I too don’t actually, you know, and...” Osborne waved his hand between them and Ed nodded. “Right. I... This was a complete misunderstanding on my---.”  
“A misunderstanding on _both_ of our parts,” Ed corrected for them gently and then, he decided that Osborne probably would appreciate normality, so he added in his normally blunt way, “It was getting weird anyway.”

Osborne gave a breathless laugh, relieved. Osborne relaxed instantly, and nodded again, this time in agreement. Ed nodded back, confirming. Confirming that this is all there is to it, that the kisses were mistakes formed from misunderstandings, that they don’t feel anyway inclined with one another, and that this won’t happen again. Ed was somewhat surprised that that didn’t need any saying, that they understood each other perfectly. Today was turning out to be a strange day indeed.

“You alright?” Ed asked inquiringly after a few seconds passed.  
Osborne’s smile tightened a little as he replied jerkily, “Yes. Fine. Thank you.”

Wondering if Osborne has told anyone before, as well as not wanting to appear like an arse for not making sure, trying to be tactful at the same time, Ed asked,  
“... Do you want to talk about it?”  
Osborne frowned. He looked like he was thinking about it for a moment. He then shook his head.  
“Not particularly, no,” he replied, slow and measured. He waved the matter dismissively with his hand. “It was a long time ago.”

Ed held his eyes with his own, concerned but also making sure.  
“Still... If you... ever feel the need to-to talk... any time of day... you know how to, how to reach me,” Ed offered quietly while his eyes told Osborne he seriously meant it and should take up the offer whenever the moment should arise. Osborne’s eyes, fixed on his in return, nodded again, giving Ed a small smile that hinted a sign of gratefulness.  
“Thank you,” Osborne added just as quietly.

Osborne turned away slightly and caught his own reflection from the glass cabinet nearby. He froze.  
“Oh fuck,” he whispered, before those long fingered, delicate hands of his began running through those locks, fixing his hair.  
“How do I look?” he asked, turning back to Ed.  
Ed looked him over quickly. He rolled his eyes. He looked presentable if that was what Osborne as asking after. Osborne seemed to be back to his old self and composed once more. Now that Ed has seen the nervous, insecure side of Osborne, he now also could almost see a corner of that peeping out. Ed decided not to touch it and leave it as it is.  
“Like you always do; a sly git,” Ed replied off the bat.  
“Ha!” Osborne barked the laugh, smirking. “Thanks. So do you too.”

Ed smirked back, shoving his hands in his pockets. He glanced down at his watch and quickly over at Osborne’s too to make sure his watch wasn’t deceiving him. He took another step back and turned his body slightly towards the lifts.  
“Right then. It’s almost lunch time. Want to get something to eat?” Ed asked casually, as though it was normal to offer a member from the party opposite to lunch.

Osborne blinked. He paused for another moment to think. He seemed to be weighing out the pros and cons to the offer. Osborne tilted his head a little.  
“And what will the press think? ‘Chancellor and Shadow Chancellor: Foes or Chums’?” Osborne questioned, in disbelief again while mocking the tabloids at the same time.  
Ed decided not to comment on the lack of creativity in that tabloid heading. Ed couldn’t think of anything better himself anyway.  
“Forget about the bloody press,” Ed said, sounding exasperated. “They’re always going to talk no matter what we do. We’re not politicians twenty four seven and we _do_ actually get along... Couldn’t we just be two, I don’t know, mates out for something to eat or whatever?”

Osborne looked him up and down in that languish manner again, which now Ed realised wasn’t Osborne checking him out or judging him but merely assessing Ed’s body language to see if he was lying or playing with him. A strategy that unfortunately Osborne finds the need to use almost all the time on everyone he didn’t quite know or trust well enough. Osborne stretched his neck a bit, nodded his head back down again, and genuinely smiled. It took Ed by surprise at just how much the difference was between a fake smile and genuine smile.  
“Alright then,” Osborne said, agreeing, trying to hide his grin behind a facade of reluctance. “But just this once.”  
“Fine by me,” Ed said nonchalance, smothering his own grin.

Things seemed to go back to normal after that. Well, as normal as normal could be, disregarding the fact that they hang out with each other once a month or two or something like that for a friendly drink and chat that excluded any form of political talk. It seemed from that point on they held an understanding, a sort of trust, a strange friendship, that they hadn’t held before. There was nothing rushed, nothing forced. They could go on for hours without actually speaking, just enjoying each other’s presence. They were simply... them. That was more than just a different nice. That was the right type of nice.

Sometimes Ed caught himself wondering if he and Osborne could be anymore. He liked Osborne and thought he looked alright for a bloke. But then he would always dismiss the thoughts, thinking that things were nice as they were and didn’t need changing. He didn’t want to ruin this... friendship they had either. He still looked out for Osborne, making sure nobody but Frances made advances to Osborne. So far, nobody has and nobody would dare to after Ed has a word with anyone who tried.

The following year, after Osborne announced the Budget, at the select committee, when Osborne was questioned by a Labour member when the last time Osborne had bought a pasty from Greggs and Osborne replied that he couldn’t recall, both Ed and Osborne knew that that wasn’t quite the truth. When they next saw each other, the very next day in fact, their eyes sort each other out and shared a smug smirk. They seemed to be sharing the same thought; if only the public knew what great chums they are now. All thanks to Marr and Greggs.


End file.
